I’ve been coming across an interesting phrase lately on wedding invitations. The phrase is this, “No host.” Upon further investigation and reading through the enclosure card I found that the person inviting the guest expects the guest to pay for their own meal at the celebration they have been invited to. The event is taking place at a venue where the guest gets to choose their meal, however I need to point out that this is very unacceptable. The problem here is that the person putting on the celebration is in fact a “host” and is responsible for its coordination. This includes where the food is coming from. It’s really important to realize that as a host, which there always will be for a coordinated party, to be very clear with guests about what is expected of them. For example there are different levels of etiquette depending on the celebration that a host needs to be aware of. For example a casual event like asking a group of friends to Dave and Busters normally implies that the bill will be a Dutch treat (where the bill is split according to each person’s requests). However, when an event starts to have honorees things tend to get more complicated and a delegated host needs to make it clear to the guests what is going to happen. In this example, Bob wants to have a little party to celebrate his sister’s pregnancy at a casual restaurant. He wants to honor his sister by paying for her meal, but the rest of the party is a Dutch treat. On his invitation he writes hosted by Bob and in the details writes Dutch treat. This is not confusing or a faux pas. It is direct and clear and there will be no miscommunication between him and his guest. Now, it is one thing to be clear with guests, which the phrase “no host” is not, and another thing to requests guests pay for their own meal at a wedding. Telling the guest they must come to a particular venue for a wedding and pay for their own meal is not couth and frankly tacky. It would be better to have no food at all or even a potluck before asking guests for cash. A wedding does not need to include a full meal and there are creative ways to save money if that is the underlying reason for asking guests to pay for the meal. Looking from the guests’ perspective for a moment, a guest has to pay for a lot of other things to attend a wedding: clothes, plane tickets, a gift, accommodations, and so on. Asking them to pay for the meal on top is a slap in the face. I personally could see this moving into the territory of asking guests to pay for the wedding. I digress. Like I mentioned earlier there are many other options when hosting a wedding on a budget and alternative meal or food solutions. If it’s not a wedding or a much more casual event it’s important to be clear with guest about what is expected. Finally, the phrase “no host” should never be used as it is confusing and not accurate. |
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